Pain. How’s that for a fun topic?
No one is exempt. You know how life sometimes gangs up on you all at once? I’ve had some major medical issues hit me and I’ve been in unrelenting pain for months.
Some of my favorite people are currently in a lot of pain. My heart breaks for friends with physical pain, chronic illness, emotional struggles, mental anguish, grief, marital strife, heartbreak over children and family members, terminal diagnoses, and loss of all kinds. Always remember the meme: “Be kind. You have no idea what someone is going through. You may walk past someone who's just trying to hold it together.”
We can't compare one person's pain with another. One thing we must never say to a friend in pain is, "I know exactly how you feel." No. You don't. You really don’t. You know how you felt going through a similar situation. But everyone has different circumstances, a different temperament, a different support system, and a different physiological makeup.
Several years ago, I became quite ill and I really wanted to have coffee with Job. Not to ask how he handled reconciling the character of God with his pain and suffering. God’s tangible presence was as close as my heartbeat. I wanted to know how he kept from slapping people.
I have amazing, wonderful, supportive friends who've come alongside me over and over. I’ve had incredible people come out of the woodwork to help in practical ways. I've also had friends tell me I'm not really in pain--I just think I am. I’ve had friends who’ve told me to suck it up. I’ve had a lot of gossip and unsolicited medical advice. I've had a lot of people tell me why it’s my fault. I've had friends explain that God had to inflict pain on me, because otherwise I won't listen to Him. I’ve had people pinpoint my obvious unconfessed sin and rebellion that brought on my well-deserved suffering. Quite a few people tell me I don’t have enough faith. I've had people tell me all I have to do is take this one supplement which cures everything, and lo and behold: they sell it, and it's only $250 for the first month’s supply.
“Now when Job's three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, they came each one from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite; and they made an appointment together to come to sympathize with him and comfort him. When they lifted up their eyes at a distance and did not recognize him, they raised their voices and wept. And each of them tore his robe and they threw dust over their heads toward the sky. Then they sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great.” (Job 2:11-13)
They sat down on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights with no one speaking a word to him for they saw that his pain was very great. What a powerful ministry of presence to a hurting friend. The problem began when they decided they would explain God’s actions and motives and clarify why all this was Job’s fault.
“The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18) Have you have experienced this closeness with God when you’re hurting?
I remember being alone in a treatment room at Cleveland Clinic, hooked up to all kinds of big, loud, frightening machines. I could feel I was being held firmly in the palm of God's hand. I could actually reach down and touch His thumb against me. I was experiencing “the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension” (Philippians 4:7) to such a supernatural extent that the nurse thought I’d somehow gotten ahold of some contraband tranquilizers.
I lean in and I can hear His heartbeat. As Kate Bowler said, "The sicker I got, the more God's love bubbled up beneath me. God's presence is assured when we are scared or lonely or unsure." I’ve often been scared and lonely and unsure. But I have found the reality of God’s presence to be true. Have you?
Pain can be a blessing. It stops us in our tracks. It focuses our attention. “We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” ― C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain
There's absolute garbage theology out there that says if you're really walking with God, you will never suffer, you have lots of money, and you deserve special favor that means you are exempt from the troubles others suffer. To which I ask, “Have any of you read the Bible?”
Instead of asking “Why me? “, our question should be “Why not me?” “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you.” (1 Peter 4:12)
We are eager to experience Philippians 3:10, “that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection” until we get to “and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death”. We really want to know Him, and the power of his resurrection, but no thank you to the fellowship of his sufferings. Two out of three is plenty.
It is very discouraging to not be able to do what the other kids do. I have places to go, things to do, and people to see. I have some really wonderful and exciting plans in 2024. But God alone knows if I will be able to do them. Please pray that the tests, treatments, surgeries, and specialists can help diagnose and fix me in the coming months. And pray for patience and peace whether or not healing comes.
Whatever pain we experience in life, may it drive us to reach for the hem of His robe. May it draw us into intimacy with the only One who truly understands every facet of our pain. Our friends and loved ones may try to understand, but Jesus is the only one who has been down in our hole with us. May we cling to the One who will bring our final healing:
“And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away." (Revelation 21:3-4)
Grace and peace,
Linda
Upcoming and Ongoing:
We’re starting a new Psalm One Bible Study on Tuesday night in 1 Peter. This study meets online (with in-person gatherings for the locals) and is for men and women, married, and single, anyone who wants to know the Word and walk with Jesus. Everyone is welcome Tuesday at 7:30 pm Eastern Time whether you come every week or every once in a while. Sign up to stay in the loop: https://www.psalmone.org/tuesday-night-bible-study
We just enjoyed a truly wonderful Sisterhood of the Fishbowl Pastors’ Wives Soul Care Retreat in Cincinnati. And we are gearing up to have another in Green Lake, Wisconsin April 19-21. We’re also meeting online every Thursday night at 7:30pm Eastern Time. This is a lifeline of genuine friendship, support, encouragement, prayer, and quite a lot of laughter. https://www.psalmone.org/pastors-wives
Mark your calendar now to join us for the next Refocus and Refuel Retreat June 28-30 in Cincinnati. This is for men and women, anyone who needs to let the dust settle long enough to rest, recover, remember, rebound, restore, revive, and reboot. https://www.psalmone.org/refocus-and-refuel