Good riddance 2018. Goodbye. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.
The last six months have been incredibly difficult. I have been quite ill with a dangerous lung disease. My father died December 30 after a long and excruciating battle with Alzheimer’s. I know many of you have been there. You understand. We are grateful that he is no longer suffering, but we have been dealing all aspects of grief and loss. Between his escalating care needs, nursing homes, multiple ER visits, hospital vigils, caring for Mom and her own health struggles, driving the hundred mile trek every few days, my own weakness and pain, and constantly changing situations, it’s been exhausting. I’ve been helping my mother with grieving, arrangements, finances, red tape, and other adjustments. I am so grateful for all the friendship, support, and prayers during this very challenging season.
Last July, God called me away with Him for an extended prayer pilgrimage. If it weren’t for the strength and messages The Holy Spirit gave me out there to prepare me, I don’t know if I’d still be standing. It’s almost as if He knows the future, knows me, and is sovereign! Almost as if He’s omniscient, communicative, and loving! So many words, impressions, visuals, and lessons whispered straight from Jesus. But two stand out:
“The next few months will be very difficult. But you are stronger than you think you are.” Over and over, in so many ways, God warned me, “The next few months will be tough”, “This Fall will be very hard”. There’s a lot of very questionable theology out there that says if you’re walking with God, you will have nothing but riches, health, favor, ease, butterflies, unicorns, and rainbows. To which I say, “Have you ever read the Bible?”
We are promised suffering. We are told, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you.” (1 Peter 4:12) Sometimes believers going through rough times are blame, shamed, and judged instead of encouraged, strengthened, and supported. But God is the ultimate realist. He reminds us that we will go through pain and trials. The Lord prepares us and walks beside us.
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.” (Isaiah 43:2)
When. When, not if. God is not the bridge over troubled waters. He is the One who walks through the troubled waters with us. Immanuel. God with us. Through everything—the good, the bad, and the ugly. I am so grateful for His crystal clear heads-up that I would be heading straight down into one of the valleys of life.
"For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake,
But My lovingkindness will not be removed from you,
And My covenant of peace will not be shaken,"
Says the LORD who has compassion on you. (Isaiah 54:10)
As I traveled over jagged mountains and endless hills, God kept repeating this passage over and over. The world will shake, but through it all, the Lord’s lovingkindness and covenant of peace would remain. The Lord would be my stability, my security, my Paraclete. Through a very shaky Fall, I have experienced a peace that passes understanding and lovingkindness that has held me tight. So many glimpses of grace, reminders of love, experiences of laughter, and abiding security while everything around me hit the fan. My lovingkindness will not be removed from you, and My covenant of peace will not be shaken. No matter what. What an amazing gift.
I don’t know what the next chapter holds. But I know Who holds me through it all.
In His love,
Linda