Dear friend,
Are you ever frustrated by your lack of strength, energy, or stamina?
Do you ever get discouraged when you can't do what the other kids can do?
Do you ever feel "less than" when some weakness or limitation prevents you from accomplishing everything you expect of yourself?
Have you noticed that getting old is for the birds?
I had some really, really wonderful and exciting plans for 2024, and I may still get to do some of them, but so far I've had to cancel or delay most of the things on my calendar.
So many good things going on in my life, but my body decided to revolt on me this year. So much pain, so many medical appointments, so many medications that may or may not work, so many excruciating treatments. One surgery down, one to go. I’m trying to be a patient patient, but I've got places to go, things to do, and people to see!
There are times when I suddenly see the paper I'm writing on is getting wet and blurring my words, because I don’t even notice anymore when the tears are flowing. There are times when my body won't stop shaking from the pain. Multiple times a day I cry out (trying to scream quietly if the windows are open) when it gets too much. My current mantra is: “It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.”
“You have taken account of my wanderings;
Put my tears in Your bottle.
Are they not in Your book?”
(Psalm 56:8)
But this has also been a season of laughter. It’s hard to explain, but there's been an undercurrent of unshakable joy even in unrelenting pain. I find humor in the midst of daily life. There are so many ridiculous little things that make me smile, chuckle, or laugh out loud. My heart is lifted by friends who come alongside me, often surprising me with love and support and hilarity exactly when I need it.
“In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.” (Romans 8:26-27)
There are seasons when we can go "flat out like a lizard drinking" as we say in Australia.
There are seasons when we need to rest in the palm of his hand.
There are days I can accomplish an amazing workload.
There are days I can barely walk across a room.
But God doesn't waste a thing. Even our pain. The hours I have to spend hunkered under a weighted heating pad because the pain is too severe are not wasted hours. In that darkness, He meets me.
In this secluded place I meet a king.
He comes alone to drink reality with me.
Sometimes we talk, sometimes we sit
And sip a life that passes by the crowd.
As inwardness is born—a felted thing
Of power—a commonality of grace—
A union where unmended hopes are knit
Where silence roars as quiet sings aloud.
Oh Christ, I love it here! It is our place.
Speak Lord or not. Touch me or not.
Show then Your will or bid me wait in patient grace.
Fill all my hungry need with joy again.
With simple loaves of bread and chaliced wine
Heaven, earth, and all of God are mine.
--Calvin Miller (A Hunger for the Holy)
A beautiful, simple, deeply profound quote from a dear saint today: “I look at Him. He looks at me. We are happy.”
He meets us wherever we are. And my prayer is always, “Lord meet me where I am, and take me where I need to be.”
Grace and peace,
Linda
P.S. I have surgery scheduled May 30th. Please, please pray they would move it up. Even a week or two would help tremendously. So grateful for those on the prayer team who keep lifting me up. Let me know if you want to join the team.
Upcoming and Ongoing:
We invite anyone to join the Psalm One Bible Study on Tuesday nights in 1 Peter. This study meets online (with in-person gatherings for the locals) and is for men and women, married, and single, anyone who wants to know the Word and walk with Jesus. Everyone is welcome Tuesday at 7:30 pm Eastern Time whether you come every week or drop in every once in a while. Sign up to stay in the loop: https://www.psalmone.org/tuesday-night-bible-study
Mark your calendar now to join us for the next Refocus and Refuel Retreat June 28-30 in Cincinnati. This is for men and women, anyone who needs to let the dust settle long enough to rest, recover, remember, rebound, restore, revive, and reboot. https://www.psalmone.org/refocus-and-refuel
Thank you for understanding that my availability and capacity has varied a lot the last few months. I appreciate your kindness and patience. A lot of things are in the air right now. More events will be scheduled once I get past this season.